Wednesday, June 6, 2012
It's Official::Part 2
I am officially failing miserably at containing my excitement for our third child's arrival. I blame it on my friend that gifted me with a large box of cloth diapers. I mean, it is impossible to sort through a box of brightly colored cloth diapers and not get excited!
Here's the thing, I love pretty big. I just cannot keep myself from loving this child. I have decided that he is worth it. Loving is always risky business. I think back to our miscarriage that was just devastating to us. After a few days of recovery, I needed to be at the beach. To sit and watch the waves and hear my children squealing around me. The song Coast by Eliza Gilkyson came on my iPod. There is a line she sings "Did you ever think it would be like this? The price you pay for love?". And I decided then, just like I've decided this time, that there is a price you pay for loving. And it usually is worth it. This time is no different.
So as I am trying to maintain a level of sanity, I'm excited! And vulnerable. And shy about the subject, until I'm not.
We meet our birth mom next week! In the meantime I am doing crazy things like ordering fabric for a baby blanket and tiny pants. I'm researching adoptive breast feeding. I'm trying (and failing) to get more sleep in anticipation for no sleep.
I'm pregnant on paper.
And I'm ready for it to show.