I am officially failing miserably at containing my excitement for our third child's arrival. I blame it on my friend that gifted me with a large box of cloth diapers. I mean, it is impossible to sort through a box of brightly colored cloth diapers and not get excited!
Here's the thing, I love pretty big. I just cannot keep myself from loving this child. I have decided that he is worth it. Loving is always risky business. I think back to our miscarriage that was just devastating to us. After a few days of recovery, I needed to be at the beach. To sit and watch the waves and hear my children squealing around me. The song Coast by Eliza Gilkyson came on my iPod. There is a line she sings "Did you ever think it would be like this? The price you pay for love?". And I decided then, just like I've decided this time, that there is a price you pay for loving. And it usually is worth it. This time is no different.
So as I am trying to maintain a level of sanity, I'm excited! And vulnerable. And shy about the subject, until I'm not.
We meet our birth mom next week! In the meantime I am doing crazy things like ordering fabric for a baby blanket and tiny pants. I'm researching adoptive breast feeding. I'm trying (and failing) to get more sleep in anticipation for no sleep.
I'm pregnant on paper.
And I'm ready for it to show.
9 comments:
I just wanted to send you a note of encouragement about adoptive breastfeeding. A friend of mine from church was crazy successful at this. She took herbs/pills (not sure if they were prescription or natural) and pumped all the time to stimulate milk. She said it was hard but SO WORTH IT! She made enough milk to freeze in for her adopted baby that her nursing friends were raiding her freezer when their supply was not enough for their babies. Isn't that amazing? Women's bodies are amazing. And you are not "too excited" my friend pumped all that milk BEFORE she was placed with a birth mother. You are just the right amount of excited. Your baby needs someone that is excited for him. Good luck!
Oh, reading this just makes my heart race with excitement for you! I know what you mean by "loving big" and you can't fight that part of your nature, so don't.
Do you know how soon this baby is due?
Thank you both for your encouragement! Mandy, that is awesome- most of what I read says, "you will never be able to produce enough for your adopted baby, etc", so this is really good for me to hear!
Katie- He is due in September! Not sure which part of the month...I hope to find that out Monday when we meet with the birth mom.
I love you. I am so, so happy for you guys.
I want to call you soon, lady.
Wowza!
Yes, the price you pay for love. Good perspective.
I am so happy for you mandi! I need to see you guys soon! I miss you and your beauties! love you!
Leslie G.
You're glowing. And that fabric is wonderful!
Oh - we're planning (well, i will be doing it) adoptive breastfeeding as well! and i love the sentiment the "price we pay for love"...and it's hard not to get excited, and yet reserve a little part of yourself for the "what-ifs"...so glad we found eachother's blogs - it's nice to know someone in similar places with similar goals. happy for your excitement.
I did this for our son. I can tell you first hand that it was indeed a lot of work, but it was so worth it. he nursed for 18 months. I used herbs and dom. and a good pump to bring in the milk. I would do it again in a heart beat.
My heart is rejoicing for you all!! You are an amazing Momma & i am so excited for you and John and your sweet kids. We will be earnestly praying for all to go well. I am excited for you about the breastfeeding. I have 2 friends who have done it one was really good , one not so good but both say it was worth every minute!
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