Friday, September 5, 2008

napolean complex

i have a confession to make. i am afraid of an eleven inch tall bantam rooster- mr. handsome man. now, before you go and start making judgements, let me make one thing clear; he is ruthless. here is how this morning played out. i went out to feed the chickens the pulp from our carrot juice. i bent over to dump it out and when i righted myself, he was after me. he lunged himself and caught air at the same time coming into my belly region. i, of course, screamed and shielded myself with the juicer attachment i was carrying. he landed and then was back up in no time coming at me again. this time i hit him harder and screamed again. here's the saddest part. after screaming i yelled out for help...from my 4 year old. she is fearless. he attacks her several times a day and she has no qualms about picking that little man up and giving him a talking to ("now listen mr. handsome man, you are a chicken, i am a person. you DO NOT peck people"). so here she comes a running to my rescue, carrying a big stick. and she whacked him once saying "no handsome man". he immediately hid under the coop. she then stood guard as i exited the premises. it is official. I AM A WEENIE.
when we made it back into the house it was my turn for a 'talkin' to'. moonpie informed me that i needed to carry a stick when i entered the chicken run. and then, gently, she stated, "momma, i think it's time to eat handsome man."

so, for all you chicken wranglers our there, can you eat a bantam? (angie, i'm counting on you here!)

my hero!!!


Anonymous said...

I've never done it, but I imagine you can. Soup, stock, or like a little cornish rock I would imagine. I gotta admit, your moonpie is one brave cutie pie!! :)

Brandi said...

that is hysterical! i would have loved to see it. she is so funny. i'll be impressed if you eat him.

The Kramer Family said...

Oh my! I can see this whole thing play out.....juice attachment shield and all. Way to go Moonpie. KK is still afraid of chickens.

As for the rooster, we've gotten rid of an annoying ruthless rooster before. And Jason doesn't waste anything around here so he cleaned him up, boiled him in broth, and put him in a chicken casserole dish. I will say that it wasn't the best chicken in the world. It was really tough.

But, its worth a shot!

johannapule said...

hahahahahahah that is hilarious. I mean I would have peed my pants with fear, so I completely understand the screaming on your part. I don't know if you can eat a rooster....I am going to tell everyone I know how my little niece saved her mothers life. Awesome story!

Aleesa said...

That is one of the funniest post I have ever read. Ever! I am still laughing as I type.
My mom can tell you stories about how "ugly" roosters can get. She had me terrified of roosters as a child because of her stories.
I think what I love most is how you were rescued and her solution to the problem. That's great.

Amy said...

Funny! Oh, man, she's a character. Brave...
Yeah, eat that sucka. Boil him, make a slow cooking soup out of him, tell him you're going to do ti long before you do, so he can suffer for his wrongs.
Just kidding.

Kramer said...

(this is lynsey)

I mentioned your story to Jason. He got such a kick out of it. And then he said,"She just needs to whoop him once."

I got to thinking about our roosters, and we don't have any that are aggressive which is quite remarkable considering we have lots of roosters around here. The first signs of aggression and Jason gives ours a spanking.

But, apparently Jason 'whoops' them once to show them who is boss. Nothing overly aggressive. So, next time take your big long stick (per Moonpie's orders) and give the rooster a nice spanking.

Rick said...

That is GREAT! I've got a great visual of you being terrorized by this rooster....and of you're knight(ess) in shining armor coming to your rescue. For the record, I have no idea if you can eat him, but we ate enough "free range" chicken in Africa (pretty much the only meat we saw) to say that anything is possible if you're hungry enough! Thanks for brightening my day, although next time I hope that you can do so without putting yourself at risk! BTW, I remember your great gradmother (Mammaw) walking through the chickens looking for just the RIGHT one for Sunday dinner and jerking one know the rest. Maybe Mamma Sue knows the answer to that!
Blessings on you all, and PLEASE don't get hurt by the chickens!
In Him
U Rick

Pattie said...

mandi; Okay, THIS is my dinner story tonight! I have printed it out to read to my family. This is very, very funny.

And, by the way, I've enjoyed reading a bunch of your older posts, too. It's great to discover your blog!