when moonpie was a newborn i was so full of emotion and love. i remember when she was a few days old i wept because i knew that one day, someone would hurt her feelings. and she was so tiny and mushy, and i knew that she couldn't really understand the depths of my feelings for her. i mean, to be honest, i didn't really understand them either. so when she was 6 days old i started a journal for her. in the early days it was full of poetry inspired by her fluffy skin and feather like hair. the way her entirety could fit across my chest. and as she grew the love letters continued but were accompanied by her milestones, things she would do that would make us laugh and smile. when buddy was born i started on his journal immediately. with two children two and under, it was hard for me to take the time i wanted to take and just bask in his loveliness. his journal was such a gift to me- a time when i could sit and really think on what he meant to me and our family.
as each child has grown i have continued to write in their journals. some days it's just a 'quote of the day' type entry, but other days it's a full on love letter. i find myself jotting down pieces of parental advice as well, in hopes that they can turn to it when they are parents. not real specifics or 'how to', but more about the driving force behind decisions. the fierce love that leads a parent to do what they do. what i do.
i have been reading some older entries to moonpie lately. she loves to hear about the funny stories of her baby days- those stories that all add up to make her who she is. and i hope that she keeps turning back to her journal. that they both will. maybe when they are confused about who they are. maybe when they feel lonely. or maybe when they just miss their mama. whatever their reasoning, i hope that one thing comes across every time they turn through the pages of their history-
that they are deeply